Why adults have affairs?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause despair, and other troubles. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age difference, faith background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married woman date.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest cluster, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair